The Practical Magic of Authenticity
In honor of Halloween, I want to talk about authenticity.
I realize that might seem a little weird, given that one of the fun things about Halloween is hiding yourself in a costume, but in the interest of being authentic, weirdness is pretty much one of my things.
I love Halloween. It’s probably my favorite holiday. I’m not a fan of the scary stuff (or horror in general – if I want horror I’ll watch the news); I prefer my Halloween more on the cozy than creepy side, with plenty of witchy vibes. So it shouldn’t come as a surprise that my favorite Halloween movie isn’t one of the slasher films.
Practical Magic is my favorite Halloween movie. It’s witchy and fun, with just a dash of creepy for seasoning. It’s got an amazing cast. And it has a few solid lessons to teach us about how we relate to the world, authentically.
Witchy Lessons in Authenticity
If you’ve never seen Practical Magic, here’s a quick summary:
The story focuses on two sisters who are part of a long line of powerful witches. There’s also a family curse — any man they love is destined to meet an untimely death. Free-spirited Gillian deals with the curse by getting as far away from home as possible and fling-ing her way through life. Sally swears off magic and love, especially after her husband dies. Gossip flies in their small Massachusetts town about the Owens witches, and Sally (with true eldest daughter energy) does her best to fit in and be a normal, non-magical parent and small business owner. There’s curse-breaking and a vengeful ghost and fated mates and a most excellent use of a PTA phone tree, plus a happily ever after that sees the Owens witches revel in their magic.
Sally and Gillian hide their authenticity in different ways. Sally is buttoned up, refusing to have anything to do with magic. Gillian chases life, refusing to settle down and be “normal.” Let’s focus on Sally (because her journey is the main focus of the movie). By the end of the movie, Sally learns to be her authentic witchy self, embracing her magic and her hot guy/fated mate, ending in a delightful Halloween scene that shows the Owens witches being accepted by their community.
Here’s what we can learn about authenticity from the story.
First, there are always people rooting for your authentic self.
We expect Gillian and the aunts to support Sally as she lets her magic loose. But Sally also has friends and employees who cheer for her when she admits to being a witch. Sharing that part of her self brings them closer.
You have people who are cheering for you. They’re going to raise you up no matter what. Know that when you show your authentic self, you’ve got people giving you virtual high fives and “you go girl”s. Find your community and let your light shine – they’ll be there for you.
People you don’t think of as supporters might surprise you.
In the movie, Sally activates the parent phone tree to find enough women to make up a coven to save Gillian. Sally has a contentious relationship with some of these moms, who gossip about her and look down on her. But when Sally asks for their help – and crucially, asks in an authentic way with a clear message (please help me save my sister from a creepy ex), they show up ready to help.
You expect your friends and family to support the real you, but when you let your authentic light shine, you might be surprised to find other people are on your side, too. Maybe they’re the lurkers in your Discord or the person who signed up for your newsletter but never engages. Ask them for something specific and meaningful and let them see who you are in return. You might be surprised at what happens.
Being authentic doesn’t mean you have to be “on” all the time.
The movie ends with the Owens witches performing magic in front of the townspeople on Halloween, all dressed as stereotypical witches. It’s cute and a little cheesy and the perfect ending note for the movie. But there’s an important lesson there, too. The set up of this scene is that Owens witches do this once a year, on Halloween. They’re witches, but that’s not their whole identity. Acknowledging her witchy side doesn’t mean Sally has to be “on” as a witch all the time.
For creatives and small business owners – especially those who use social media to sell – it can feel like we have to perform authenticity for our audience all. the. time. That gets old. Being authentic doesn’t mean you have to share *all* of yourself with everyone all the time. You can choose what to show and when to show it – and you can choose what never sees the light of day.
I think for most us there’s nothing more scary then being our full authentic selves out in the open where everyone can see us. That goes double for anyone trying to sell a product or a service, and especially if you’re an author, artist, solopreneur, or small business owner. We’re supposed to build an authentic brand and that’s kind of a frightening thing to do. But there’s magic in being authentic.
Happy Halloween!